Hiati

What is the plural of hiatus? Hiatuses? How inelegant. Well, now that dyslexic Haitians everywhere dislike me, I'll continue.

What a better way to return to my forlorn blog than to ramble irritatingly on the cycles of life? CS Lewis snuck in a very apt quotation on the undulations of humanity in his The Screwtape Letters, but I don't remember it. Go read it yourself, it's short. Yet Lewis is right: our lives graph a series of oscillations. Energy levels, general luck, latest interests, my alcohol intake--not sure the identity of the function dictating my life-waves, but they most certainly propagate.

Things increasing as a function of time: (dy/dx >0)
Obsession with Tango
Obsession with Bacon

Hiati: (dy/dx < 0)
Blogging
Dancing on kitchen furniture instead of studying (ok, not really)

So life goes. Yet, amidst such fluctuation, some things stay constant. Perhaps it is these zero order life parameters that equate to crap like 'character'. I find such conjectures disturbing, as that may correlate my identity my popcorn air-popper, but compared to Dorian Gray or Rasputin, it's quite innocuous.

My constants:
Flirting with narcolepsy
Cooking with alcohol

Narcolepsy I have accepted. My latest favorite story happened on a Friday night of NCAA basketball games. I eagerly waited my experiments to fail so I could dash to the nearset sports bar while deluding myself that my bracket would not inevitably crumble under the avalanche of upsets that pelted the tournament this year. Later I was to join friends to go to the city for a much-needed wholesome evening of tequila, music, and borderline-inappropriate dancing.

Hence you can imagine my surprise when I end up texting my friends at 3am, "Sorry, fell asleep in a box of packing peanuts. Will explain later."

Not much of a surprise, actually. Sleeping is one of the few things I do better than almost anyone (devoid of a severe medical condition or tranquilizer addiction). After basketball and beer a few of us ended up at my house for more beer. One roommate just had a birthday. Clearly, her friends like her better than other friends like anyone else, because a veritable torrent of boxes had flooded our porch for a good week. One of them was half filed with styrofoam S-shaped peanuts. Drunk grad students + packing peanuts = indoor snow party. Obsession with fitting into small spaces + box = me sitting in a box of packaging material. My friends promptly proceeded to pile more peanuts on top and take pictures to ensure I never live a dignified existence.


It was in this setting that I made a fascinating discovery: packing peanuts are extremely comfortable. Lots of cush for the tush, while the insulating properties of styrofoam make it a wonderfully ghetto blanket. Outfitted as such, consciousness gave in to napping--rendering my eloquent 3am message.

Cooking with alcohol is pretty standard. I have been trying in vain to come up with a good whiskey brownie recipe. Don't get me wrong, the brownies always come out great--it is just that the whiskey inevitably fades into obscurity. So, I present instead the base recipe for the brownies: feel free to add coffee liquor, beer, scotch-- whatever you like to give it something extra. Whiskey caramel is a favorite touch of mine.

The batter is a great basic. Derived mostly from melted chocolate, it satisfies better than sissy cocoa-powder analogues. Also, I get the thing in the oven in under 30 minutes, giving me plenty of time to fall asleep in boxes before it burns. The topping shown is a bailey's ganache. Be wary, however, these suckers are very rich.

Brownies a la basic

2 eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 c white sugar
6 oz melted chocolate (I nuke mine at 30 s intervals on defrost, stirring in between)
1/2 c flour
3/4 t baking powser
1/2 t salt
1 stick butter, melted
2 T liquor/vanilla

Frosting:
1 c chocolate
1/2 c cream
1 T bailey's (a different liquor works as well)

Oven to 350

Combine eggs, sugar, and melted chocolate (careful if chocolate is hot to not scramble eggs!). Combine flour, salt, and b. powder in a separate bowl. Add flour mix to chocolate mix in three parts, stirring to combine. Stir in liquor. Pour into greased pan and bake for 30 min, or just until tester comes out clean.

Frosting:
Heat cream to a simmer, pour over chocolate. Let stand 2 min. Stir until smooth. Stir in bailey's (or other liquor). Let cool until semi-set, spatula over brownies.