Ok, maybe not.
The exclamation point clearly denotes an air of joy; as if mind-numbing tests on stuff you plan to study for the rest of your life but currently hate were just like rainbow ice-pops. Mary Poppins can suck it, because the only thing that helps midterms go down is alcohol. And, considering that I decided to stop buying alcohol so that I could afford to take tango classes, I was thoroughly screwed.
I tried to cram for my biochemistry exam the weekend beforehand. Here is how that went:
1. Wake up.
2. Make tea, start breakfast.
3. Pull out computer, download enough articles to make one pee one's pants.
4. Neighbor starts power saw. Sounds like Marilyn Manson exploded a pipeline.
5. Eat breakfast, look over first paper. Nearly pee my pants.
6. Sawing stops. Sigh in relief.
7. Oxyacetalene torch starts. What. the. hell. Would get up to look out window, but was so surrounded by papers didn't want to move. Assume neighbor is welding an oil rig.
8. Try to read paper. Paper doesn't really make sense. Paper has 49 more pages, and 20 other friends. Intensely hate paper.
9. Neighbor switches off torch. Sawing resumes.
10. Resist urge to turn on college football.
11. Torch relights. Hear casual Spanish conversation on a cell phone about the weekend. Who chitchats while holding a lit torch?
12. Change papers. Take a break and go online. The internet is fascinating. Scientific artciles are not. Read about a man selling taxidermied hamsters.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/rcs/1127138244.html
Continue, ad nauseum. Needless to say, I got very little done before watching ASU play UGA while indexing lecture notes. I was very proud of the Sundevils, who managed to hold their own against a ranked SEC team in Georgia. This was, until they lost this past weekend to the Beavers. Truly, sports are the eternal tease of humanity.
Towards the end of the weekend, I give up. I will fail, it will suck, and I will get over it. One test probably won't get me kicked out of grad school, and let's face it--I incessantly babble about life plans that do not involve a PhD. I could always become a baker, yoga teacher, or South American Ninja.
Take the test. Obscenities fail to capture my state of mind. I could barely see straight while stumbling out the door. It was if my brain had focused so much on those nine sheets of paper that life on the outside demanded a re-acclimation period. This was it. I was done. I'd drop out, tech in industry for a year, and join the Peace Corps. Clearly, I would be much better at digging ditches for orphans in Indonesia than doing biochemistry.
Get home. There is a tent on the patio. It is a four person, bright green tent. What? Was there a slumber party I was not aware of? Who is camping on a Tuesday night ON OUR PORCH? Who owned this tent? Our stipends are pretty low, but we did not need a fifth roommate to live on the deck. Last time I checked.
Turns out the tent is the neighbor's; the same neighbor who was torching the Alaskan pipeline while on his phone on a Saturday morning. Apparently the tent blew into our patio. I guess it got tired of Kansas, but the only witch to land on would be our hallucinating squirrel, Fritz. (see post on 'cracked out squirrels') It missed. That make my housemates and I the munchkins. Too bad we don't have those cool outfits.
One night after work I came home famished and short on time. So, I rolled out some of hte pizza dough I had made the weekend prior. I had no tomato sauce, but I did have roasted vegetable soup of approximate pizza sauce consistency. I threw together the weirdest topping combination of my life. Mozzarella, parmesan, and Danish blue cheeses, walnuts, and tomatoes. It worked remarkably well! The tang of the blue cheese complimented the earthy squash flavors in the soup-sauce, and the walnuts had a nice crunch against the oozy melted mozzarella. And added bonus? I managed to roll the crust into the shape of Australia. My housemates insisted on slicing it up along state lines:
So, how bad can life be, if you know that people are taxidermiing deceased rodent pets their chilldren accidentally kill? (Is that hamster-slaughter, instead of manslaughter?) You know you are better off than whatever frazzled parent decides buying this is a good idea... and you can make pizza shaped like any continent you like. Win win!
Roasted Vegetable soup:
half a butternut squash, cleaned out
half an onion
5 cloves garlic
2 portabella mushrooms
1 bunch leeks, cleaned well with green parts cut off
Whatever the hell you want.
Chicken stock
Chop vegetables roughly into big pieces. Dump on tray, drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper. Roast at 400 F until fork tender, but take out garlic after 15 min, or it will char into little coal-cloves.
Dump veggies into a pot, cover with chicken stock, and simmer. Take immersion blender and blend until smooth, or pour into a blender.
The non-Australian Australian Pizza
Your favorite pizza crust (dough from local pizzeria, your own recipe, etc.)*
Tomato paste, or soup
Blue cheese
Mozzarella cheese
Parmesan cheese
Walnuts
1/2 tomato, sliced and quartered.
Oven to 375 F
roll out dough until you reach desired thickness. Poke holes in dough with a fork, brush with olive oil, and bake in oven 15 minutes-ish.
Remove from oven, spread sauce on crust. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese on sauce. Walnuts and blue cheese crumbles next, followed by tomato slices. Top with parmesan. Bake until crust is golden and cheese is bubbling, about 20 min.
*I promise, I'll post my favorite pizza dough recipe one day.
You know, char, i take this pizza concoction of yours as a direct challenge to my pizza, it must be answered by an exorbitantly scrumptious pizza creation of my own. now to find a kitchen like place where i might actually be able to make said pizza.
ReplyDelete-Gabe
hahahaha. your pizzas are good- but they don't look like Australia. :-P
ReplyDeleteWe should just have a pizza-a-palooza party, and make everyone else pay for ingredients.